Why Freedom?

For as long as I can remember, I have felt like I’ve been fighting something. Not something tangible. Not even something visible. But there was always SOMETHING there. What was it?

It was fear. I was afraid of offending people. I was afraid to stand up for myself. I was afraid to say no. I was afraid being my own person.

Though I grew up in a Christian environment, even that became a source of bondage. I was afraid of not being spiritual enough. I wasn’t sure I could hit the mark that legalism drew for me. And so I existed in strife. Striving to be…and I didn’t even know what I was striving for. All I knew was I felt very much like I was too much for people, and at the same time not enough.

And I did NOT like the person that God created.

Then I heard how hating one’s self, is like an insult to the Creator. I was HIS idea. And anything that He made, He has already declared GOOD.

Somewhere along the way, in spite of so many personal struggles, and the effort of the enemy to take me down, a seed started to sprout. It was a seed of hope. Hope that there just might be more to life than living it in fear and strife. I was a Christian, but there was rarely peace. Those I counted to be the ones to help me into adulthood only let me down. I knew that resentment, abandonement, and fear weren’t God’s best for me. And somehow I began to hope for more. As the hope grew, the evidence came. Gradually, I began to see things in me that were special, and GOOD. I began to develop a sense of just how much God loves me. The fears began to melt away. I started coming into my own, so to speak.

I am still on this journey. The fears are not totally gone. Neither is my tendency to want to please people, or to strive to save myself through good works. But I can taste it now. The very thing for which I’ve been grasping my entire life. Freedom.

I know that it’s possible. I know it won’t be of completion until Heaven, but that’s ok. I’m on the journey now. Or rather the mission. My mission in life is to be FREE. And to show others that Freedom is a possibility, not just an idea.

Some days are more intense than others. But this one thing I know. Freedom is possible. It was for our Freedom that Christ died.

Nothing can stop me now. I’m on a mission.

Some days are more difficult than others. But I’m getting there.

And one of the best parts of it all? I love me!

“For I know the plans I have for you….Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans