Well, I haven’t update in forever.  We had a good Christmas, but man, when did Christmas become so hard (aptly spoken by Alicia!)?  I have this inner longing for it to be something it’s not.  And I don’t know what that is.  I’m not sure I’m ready for not doing gifts and decorations and all that.  But I don’t want to ignore this struggle that has grown over the past three years.  It’s like my heart is truly not in it.  And maybe that’s on purpose.  Maybe Someone is trying to get us to change what we do.  So we will seek the Lord and pray about it through the year this year…maybe it won’t be so hard next year, if we get a little guidance from HIM.

In other news, Cole is TEN.  How did that happen???  I am shocked that I am the mother of a child with an age in the double digits.  I still feel like I did when he was born.  Cole is awesome.  He’s creative and intelligent, funny with a wonderful sense of humour, compassionate and giving.  He spent his own money this year to buy gifts for a couple of people.  That is a huge step for him.  He is a great artist and I’m hoping this year that we might be able to get him some lessons.  Sometimes he’s unhappy with the role of eldest in the family, but he does it well, and we are very proud of him. 

We are still struggling financially, and trying to make some decisions.  Right now we are in the middle of trying to refinance, and if that doesn’t come through (I’m feeling very doubtful about it), we will really need to seriously consider selling.  Neither of us wants to think about it, but it isn’t the end of the world.  We can down-size our housing cost, and be fine.  It’s about being together.  When I think about the devastation around the world, the thought of losing our river-front home though sad to us, is really not a big deal.  Really. 

So, some time over the next week or so, we should have an answer.  And when we do, we’ll begin making decisions.  They will either be “fun” or difficult, but they will be made.

February is here, raging cold.  We had a MILD January, based on what January is usually like, and so we knew we’d likely make up for it in February.  Only seven more calendar weeks until spring.  I can do this!