and His mercies are new every morning.  This is all I can lean on right now.  I am so far beyond myself, which is really hard, but I know that’s just where He wants me to be.  We’re not getting much schooling done right now.  We’re watching far too much tv.  And I’m struggling with guilt for it.  But I am going to choose to turn to His grace to cover my failings, and trust that even though it doesn’t feel like it, He does care about me in the midst of this struggle.  I feel like if I could just have a few days of sleep, so many things would improve.  And yet, the more I pray the worse it gets.  I hate it.  I try to trust.  And yet when I pray, if Damara actually sleeps, then I have one, if not two or more kids up through the night.  I have been struggling with anger, and feeling let down.  Why bother praying?  BUT, even though this is how I FEEL, I am making a choice to keep walking.  I don’t want to.  I want to quit.  I’m so out of control emotionally, and just weary in every aspect of myself.  But I will choose to bring my will into submission; my emotions and my body as well.  I am desperate, and beyond delirious at times.  Even though I’m not sure I believe it right now, I will continue to tell myself His Grace is sufficient.