Just in case you didn’t know, 37 weeks is considered full term. That means…well, nothing. Except that Baby is now fully developed, and just packing on the ounces. Something which I don’t need. With my tendency to be “overdue”, I end up having babies in the vacinity of ten pounds. The only *small* baby I had was Cole, weighing in fifteen ounces smaller than Luke - 9lbs.10oz - at 8lbs.11oz. Brett tipped the scales at 10lbs.6oz., and Ellie, though petite now, was actually our second largest at 9lbs.13oz. I grow ‘em big!

I wouldn’t mind being “early”. Especially now that we are not dealing with lung issues and what not, a few weeks earlier than in the past might get me a bit of a smaller baby. Dr. Adam said at last week’s appointment that “historically” speaking, third babies are usually the largest. So we shouldn’t have any larger than Brett. And just an FYI, he was not a section baby due to his size! It was his position. He couldn’t descend into my pelvis because of the way he was sitting.

So today, Greg went to Tracy for the weekly men’s breakfast. He’s been going for a couple of months now, and it’s so good for him to be in fellowship with these guys. Many of them are people who treated him rather poorly at one time, but have all given their hearts to Christ in the past couple of years. It’s amazing to him to see how changed so many of them are.

While he was gone, I busied myself with more cooking. I only got the lasagnas done yesterday. I did four, but needed to drive for Greg in the afternoon. I should clarify. He could have done it, but he had his last two clients, who both live in Tracy, going to opposite destinations, plus exchanging vehicles with drivers for the weekend. It would have made for a very late evening for him and us, so we pitched in and drove the non-special needs to Tracy.

So today I worked away at some more cooking. It’s so nice to see the freezer filling up!

When he got home we cleaned some, and it seems that I should be exhausted right now, but at nearly midnight, I’m having a hard time settling down. Thus the post.

Annie is no longer with us. It was harder on Cole than I thought it would be. He didn’t seem to be too attached to her, as we’ve only had her about five months, but he really struggled yesterday. He was fine today. He’s happy to know we’ll be able to visit her, as the couple know our neighbors, and live in Nackawic. They are quite happy to have us stop by to say ‘hi’. I have to say I feel a bit guilty at how NOT sad I feel. I’m sorry that we couldn’t make it work with her, but that’s about it. We do want a dog, but it’s so hard to know what’s going to work with a young family.

Brett is going for a few nights to Greg’s parents. We’ll drop him off after church tomorrow, and also stay for supper. Nice to know I don’t have to feed anyone tomorrow after all the cooking today. I need to get some more meat either cooked or frozen. I intend to make some more casseroles, but time and energy will tell. I had an unbelievable amount of energy today, and though I did have some back and hip acheyness, for the most part it was an extremely productive day, with not many symptoms making it hard to work.

Dr. Adam will be doing some “encouraging” at my next appointment, so there are a couple more bigger jobs to get done then I can relax. I don’t anticipate one appointment of stretching at just over 37 weeks will make anything happen, but I need to be prepared just in case. My bag is packed. Now it’s really just wait and see. And hopefully rest up.

And on that note, I suppose I should try to get some rest. I don’t like just laying awake because I toss, or roll, so much at this point that I’m afraid I just keep disturbing my beloved. He’s a pretty sound sleeper, and usually has no recollection of my restlessness, but I still don’t like to take the chance that I might be disturbing him.

Goodnight.

I did get into town yesterday and got all of the groceries I need to cook. I did not get the cooking done today. We did get the freezer moved. So tomorrow I’ll cook. I started, but Greg got home early from work - big surprise for me - and brought me all kinds of distracting things. A beautiful, red, metal star wall hanging with berries in it, a new lampshade for the yard sale lamp I just covered in sisal rope, and a bouquet of white tulips. I think he likes me, but don’t tell him I told you!
We are giving our doggie away. Annie is sweet, but she’s more than we can handle right now. The couple taking her live in Nackawic, and they seem so nice. We would like to get another dog, but it’s hard to know how to find the right one. Anyway, we’ll miss her, but knowing she’s going to get better attention (middle-aged couple with high school and college aged children) than we can give her at the moment is a relief. We may try to get a pup in the summer, but will definitely research a LOT before making a decision.

The kids are so enjoying romping outside these past few days. The ice broke away and disappeared in one fell swoop yesterday afternoon. Today we’ve watched as large sheets and mounds of ice and slush made their way past our house. It really does feel like spring now.

And I conquered our bedroom today. Still a few things in there to be moved, but it’s clean and tidy. That was a big deal, because we need to get the cradle moved and set up in there. Baby will likely mostly sleep with us, but when having a nap, I feel more comfortable knowing there are sides to protect him/her from falling out.

And last but not least, we think we have a name, although just for a girl. Nothing solid for a boy yet. But Greg is so convinced it’s another girl, I don’t think he feels the need to consider boys’ names. Time will obviously tell. And until Baby makes an appearance, don’t bother asking. We don’t tell until after Baby is born. It’s nothing personal, just less complicated.

I haven’t posted for a few days. We’ve actually been busy.

Dawn arrived around noon on Friday, and we did get a lot done. I was soooo exhausted by the end of the day. I haven’t been sleeping well at night for quite some time anyway, but I must have been way overtired, because I couldn’t sleep that night. So hard when you’re so tired.

In the middle of our cleaning, Michael and Erika and their children showed up for a surprise visit. I knew they were coming back to New Brunswick soon, but had forgotten to check in with them on the dates. They attended Student Convention in Sussex (an annual student competition for those in the ACE schools or homeschooling with ACE curriculum), then came to Wicklow to look at real estate. They still don’t have final word on what is going on for a job for Michael. I know they are getting anxious. Anyway, on their way back to Fredericton from Wicklow they stopped for a visit. It was so nice to see them - and they helped me fold laundry!

Then they surprised me by telling me Mom (Carol - first step-mother) was also coming to F’ton for an overnight visit. They were all sharing a room at the Wandlyn Inn, and so we went in for a quick visit Friday night after Greg got home from work. Then Saturday, he went on a canoe trip for the afternoon, so Mom, Mike & Erika came and spent the afternoon with us. Greg got home in time for supper, and we enjoy a bbq’d salmon and yummy baby potatoes and french cut beans. There was a LOT of food, and it was gone in short order! It was such a gorgeous day, and the kids played outside for most of it with their cousins. When it was time to leave, Monika was sobbing - she missed us already!

Sunday our church was going to Saint John for a special meeting with the sending church there, and a potluck after. It would have been way too long of a day for me, well for all of us, so we had a fun day together. We met Sharon for breakfast and then Greg went for a couple more hours of canoeing, while I took the kids to buy some jackets for spring.

Yesterday I had my first of the last appointments with my obgyn. Because one bus is broken down, I only had a short time with the Durango, and arranged to have the driver pick it up in town for his afternoon run. The hard part is that after a very quick check-up, I had a whole afternoon to do….whatever. I had Cole and Luke with me, and we had lunch at King’s Place, then grabbed a taxi uptown. Both boys enjoyed that immensely! We spent some time returning and exchanging items at various locations in the mall. I was sooo tired by the end of it. I think I overestimate what I have in me, and today I am still in recovery.

On the dr’s appt., nothing much to report. Baby is head-down again, so that’s a huge relief. I measured 40 cms yesterday, so I’ve either decreased in fluid levels, or the drs measure differently. I’m still bigger than I *should* be, but he wasn’t overly concerned as Baby is still sitting quite high, and I’ve also got a history of polyhydramnios with no complications. I am not a candidate for induction as I’ve had a c-section previously, so he said next week we are going to start stretching my cervix to see if we can encourage things to happen a bit sooner. I am overdue with my babies, from 7-11 days, so during those last couple of weeks it’s so hard. Not knowing when it’s going to happen is hard for everyone I’m sure, but knowing that if I don’t go into labor on my own, it’s a section without question is really hard. So we’re just praying hard that the baby will be ready, and my body will respond to the dr’s “encouragement”.

I haven’t gotten everything done on my list, but I’m pretty ok with that. I realize that after the first couple of weeks, as long as I have a vbac, I’ll be mostly back to normal, though tired, I’m sure, and will be much more mobile. The thought of even picking up a basket of clothes to move right now overwhelmes me. It is physically so hard to move right now. I need to get groceries, but am avoiding it because it’s so exhausting.

That’s about it for now. Sometimes I think I must have the most boring blog out there, as it’s usually about day to day life. But I have to say when I go back in days or weeks or months after posting, and re-read my even my activities, it’s a good feeling for me. So if you read, and you think, Lady, get some more interesting content, I’m sorry. Sometimes I will be deeper, and writing about issues and emotions, but sometimes, I just want to record for me, if no one else, these challenging but precious days as a mom of several young ones. They say it goes by so fast - I don’t want to forget.

Well, I have discovered an effective way of getting Luke and Brett more into picking up. After getting Eliana’s room painted, it looked so inviting, the younger two boys decided to TRASH IT! They had the pile of loner socks thrown about. Some cheerios and nachos randomly skewn, and Eliana’s diapers in the four corners of the room. Plus some toys and blocks just to add to the chaos. Wednesday night I was having a moment of fighting tears at the state of my house, when Greg picked up on it. After finding out what the tears were about, he took the boys all to Ellie’s room, and gave ‘em a lecture, he did! He made sure they understood how this upset me, how it’s not fair to have to clean after cleaning, and how this has to stop. So we ended the family huddle with a warning that next morning, Luke, Brett and myself were going to clean it all up.

I pondered how I was going to do this without yelling. I tend to stress out in about five minutes flat, and need to take numerous time-outs for me to regain composure. I admit it: I don’t relish hearing my own voice repeating the same phrases for an hour or more. “Luke, you’re not picking up. Please pick up.” “Brett, we’re not finished, you can’t leave yet.” “Let’s go guys. Let’s get this done.” So I schemed. What would make it easier.

In our house, the boys respond so well to racing the clock, or each other. I don’t want to get to into competition between them, as you well know, the youngest usually lose. However, I fully intend on purchasing a timer for each boy.

An example of how this works:

It is bedtime. Time for brushing teeth, potty, and getting in pajamas. Oftentimes, we’ll say “Ok, guys, time to get on your jammies, brush teeth, etc.” When we get through putting Ellie to bed, and come down, nothing has been done. So we end up getting very frustrated and more often than not yelling. So one night out of desperation, I counted to ten for Luke to get his pajamas on. Well, my land, did he ever respond. And then the other two boys were asking me to count for them. So I need to get to a dollar store, and get them each their own timer.

Yesterday while working with Luke and Brett, I discovered another VERY effective method. I cut several lengths of yarn, and made each of them into a circle on the floor. One became the sock circle, one for the blocks, one for diapers, and one for toys/books. I’m telling you, I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before. I suppose it’s the same idea as a basket or box for each thing, but Luke esp. loves shapes, and I was thinking we could have even more fun with it, and make triangles, rectangles, etc. With the girth that I am currently captive to, I find it very difficult next to impossible to bend over and pick things up. Having them pick it all up into one pile made such a difference. And for them to know that there was a circle to put each item, it ended up taking approximately ten minutes for them to be finished. I was then able to scoop up what was in each pile and deal with it. So much easier, faster and stress-free.

Two days ago, Luke crawled into bed with me in the morning. I was very much not awake. At one point, he sat up and pulled the blanket over his head. I asked him what he was doing. He said, “Mom, I’m going to pray.” He then proceeded with something that I forgot, and had to ask him. As he told me I remembered. He had prayed, “Dear God. Thank You for letters and shapes and numbers.” I know he said more, and I could kick myself for not being able to get fully awake to take it in. Later in the day he was singing, “My Saviour was, my Saviour is, my Saviour’s always gonna be…” I’ve heard this song numerous times on the radio, but we haven’t heard it lately, and so I was curious as to where he’d heard it. He told me Grandma and Grandpa’s church. Well, we had visited there in January and there was a ladies’ trio that sang that song! This is so healing for me because on Luke’s report cards from preschool last year, they marked him in the social and academic sections, but when it came to the spiritual growth section, they marked him n/a. That was so painful for me. I know they can’t gauge where he’s at spiritually, esp. at the point, where his communication was really still developing in the basic areas. But it hurt. And yet, Luke has shown us, autism or not, that he does respond to things spiritual. What a refreshing and healing moment for this oft-time discouraged momma.

The weather has been sunny for two days now. We are getting upper teens for temperatures. I am so glad to know spring is getting serious about showing up, and I think today will be a good day.

I am now down to weekly appointments. Yesterday I went in for my last appointment with Dr. Kerr. I am 35&1/2 weeks. The scale blessedly read the same as last week, and my fundal height is also unchanged. I was hoping it actually might decrease a bit.

Everything looks good for the most part. We might be dealing with a breech baby at this point. I have a lot of anxiety over another caesarian section, as I don’t have someone to be here with me to help with the other children. I know I have my neighbor Maureen, as well as Dawn, who are willing to help, but my last c-section experience was so difficult in the recovery period, I am feeling uptight. So pray for peace for me. Dawn encouraged me last night that her first was breech, and they were able to successfully turn him with only a bit of pain.

The dr. was able to feel the baby’s head was down for the past few appointments, so yesterday when he checked I was surprised. He really worked hard to locate it, and although he didn’t say he was convinced baby is breech, since then I’ve been really analyzing the movements. As I was laying in bed wide awake at 4 a.m. this morning, Baby became very active. The movements that I associate with legs/feet and arms/hands were way down low, while there were larger, rounder feeling parts moving slower up top. I don’t want to be cursing myself with anything, but at this point, I do believe Baby is breech. So I am praying lots, and trying to focus on God and His promises to me. If you think of me, say a prayer. I want to put any anxiety far away from me. And if a section is the final outcome of this pregnancy, that I would be able to accept it with a heart full of peace, and know that He is still in control.

Ok. I like snow storms in April ONLY when they close schools for the day. Which means a day off for Greg, which although it doesn’t mean a day “off” for me, means a day with back-up. And when said backup is that tall and handsome, I’ll take it!
To recap: we had a snowstorm the Thursday before Easter. Which meant Beloved was home FIVE days straight with us. We all sighed a deep sigh when the following Tuesday rolled around. We are in fact one of those families who ENJOY as much togetherness as possible. Friday past was also a snowstorm. Though there wasn’t as much accumulation as initially called for - AND the roads were clear by eleven o’clock - it did snow for the day and a bit into Saturday. We ventured out both days, and Greg bought me (us) a coffee table and a new arm chair (more of a chair and a half - it’s huge!). AND two lamps and a fun piece that says Families are Forever, and is perched atop the armoire. We are so enjoying our outings to find things for the house. I really appreciate that my husband has an opinion, AND an eye for interior things. It’s fun to choose thing together.

Sunday was cool, but sunny and beautiful. I did church twice. I went to Gayla’s church in the morning to do a couple special music pieces for them. Then scurried home, got everyone dressed, and then off to our church in the afternoon.

Today we awoke to cloudy skies, but not much happening in the atmosphere. That’s all changed now. We’re having snow mixed with ice pellets. Alas, school was not cancelled. So today isn’t fun. It’s mid-April, time to be done with winter.

Watched skipped turned off two movies this weekend. Do NOT watch Fast Food Nation or Babel. I did enjoy the story line with Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchette’s characters, but that was the only thing good about the whole movie! And Fast Food Nation??? What the heck was that? We just turned it off.

How was your weekend?

I am not a believer in time-outs. I find spankings (horrible me!) and removing a favorite item from the child’s possession the two most effective ways of dealing with issues. I don’t spank often, for those of you who are now shocked and disgusted with me, but I do spank.

The one exception to time-outs? ME! I was trying to get the kids to help me clean the basement this morning. We have some huge boxes left over from our table and chair purchase, so I told them they could have them to play with when we finished cleaning the basement. And by cleaning I meant I wanted to clean out underneath both couches and the beds. It wasn’t a lot of stuff, as Greg has taken most of their toys and locked them in a storage room (any suggestions on how to get a husband to understand that even though toys are annoying, they are helpful in occupying little people at times?). But I’m exhausted! It was a bit over an hour of CONSTANT reminders to pick up and clean. I was tired of hearing myself by the end of it. Within the first five minutes I was yelling and mad. So I took a time-out. Got myself together, and then proceeded. We did much better from there on out. I had to determine to stay calm and to MAKE them clean even if what should have been a twenty-minute job turned into a seventy-five minute job. But I am definitely exhausted now!

Happily, we are looking forward to another spring snowstorm. I suppose that would seem almost sick to those who don’t benefit from snow days. And I’m sure that as a homeschooling family one would wonder why it does benefit us. In short: snow days mean we have Daddy home with us. So though I am anxious for the post-winter moisture in the ground to dry up, and to start seeing things turn green and warm, I am relishing the fact that if the weather goes as predicted, my sweetie will be home with us tomorrow. It’ll melt fast, so it’s worth it.

I laid Eliana down for her nap a while ago. Then got Luke set up on the computer with a game. Brett came with me and we laid down in my bed. Of course, this didn’t work as well as it did yesterday, and he didn’t go to sleep. After a while he left, and promptly upon my settling in again, Eliana woke up and started doing her scream-cry. I started praying really hard that God would make her fall back asleep, as she hadn’t been asleep very long at all. She did NOT go back to sleep. The scream-crying kept going and getting louder. I ended up crying in the middle of it all, getting her up, and losing it. I am sooo tired. I just want sleep. I am such a light sleeper that I don’t sleep soundly hardly ever. And today, for some reason, I’m feeling desperate. I have so much to do, but struggle so much physically to actually do it. I was out last night because I’m singing at my friend’s church on Sunday, and we had to practice. Tonight I go to Rachel’s again, likely the last time ’til after baby. So being out late doesn’t work in my favor I know, but when that’s the only time I can do things, it’s all I can do. I’m wishing right now that I hadn’t told Gayla I would sing on Sunday, but not much I can do about it now. God, give me strength. I’m at the end of myself!

To my patient and faithful five:

I’ve been snowed in, painting, and worst of all, our computer needs attention. So I fired up our old one last night, and low and behold we have a connection again. That, however, is the reason for my week-long absence. I think it’s been a week. It feels like a week.

So what have I been doing with my time off-line you ask? Painting. Yes, painting. And don’t scold. I’ve done it before while pregnant and it’s fine. I am careful about fumes (we bought the lowest VOC we could), and Greg helped with the highest parts. So far we have the bathroom done, and Ellie’s room. The bathroom needs another coat, and then white wainscotting. The complicating factor for that is that we have no power tools, so I have to figure out what to do about getting the pieces cut. The color in the bathroom is called Aquamarine Blue from Color Your World. We love it. We bought a pretty new white shower curtain, and dug out an old curtain from our house at Riverside Drive; it looks like waves, and has a fringe of white pom-poms. A whimsical touch for the refreshing look we are going for. The fun thing: I discovered I don’t so much dislike the light fixtures in there after all. They are brushed steel with frosted, swirled shades. I didn’t like them with the standard off-white that was through the whole house. But they look so nice against the blue! So of course now, I’m insisting that we have to get some new nobs and hinges, and maybe even a faucet in brushed steel. ‘Cause, you know, it has to all match!

For Eliana’s room, we did Shy Blossom, also from Color Your World. It’s a not-to-dark-or-light shade of green. She has pine trim around her door, closets, and the perimeter of the room. The window is new, and is all white, included trim. So I will be painting out the rest of the trim. This green looks gorgeous with the bright white. I finished painting her dresser at Rachel’s a couple of weeks ago. I found some really sweet blossom pulls in a distressed bronze look at the Buck or Two. This dresser won’t be hers for good, as it’s old, and the drawers don’t slide well, but for now it’s a very sweet effect.

So next we have either our bedroom, or the boys’. Cole chose the color for their room. He wanted green. Initially he was indicating a “St.Patrick’s Day” green, so I chose a couple, and then let him choose from those. It’s quite interesting - like an army green. We’ll be putting pine wainscotting in their room on the bottom half or so. They are so rough on the walls. The majority of the finished basement has this pine wainscotting from floor to ceiling, so we thought we’d carry it through for a neat look to their room, and protect the walls at the same time. Again, the complicated part is the cutting.

Greg had a long weekend over Easter, which was made even longer by an unexpected Spring snowstorm. That lasted two days! It was fun. We were so excited to have five days off. We got the painting done, and also had time to relax, and NAP!

I’m cleaning out our room, getting it ready to paint, as well as getting the boys walls patched where I can. I bought some of the those clothes organizers that have six cubbies and hang from the closet rod. I’ve decided to make laundry easier and less complicated all around by limiting the boys wardrobes to one outfit per day, plus a couple of loungey type outfits, and something “dressy”. We are very casual at our church, so there’s not much dressiness to any of our wardrobes. That makes it a lot easier when storing clothes. Not worrying about wrinkling suits works for me!

We have a business in Fredericton called “Happy Harry’s”. They carry seconds in building supplies. I checked with them and they carry various sizes of closet doors, for half or less than half of the price than a place like Kent’s or Home Depot would price them. This makes me smile! We have NO doors on any closets in this house. Because it’s already small and lacking in storage, I find it just adds to the cluttered look.

In pregnancy news, I’m 34 & 1/2 wks today. I just had an appointment this morning, and whoa. I nearly cried when they weighed me. I’m not kidding. I’ve never really paid much attention to the scale in previous pregnancies. I’ve already gained 32 lbs., and I still have about six weeks to go. Which is another four or five pounds minimum. It never bothered me before, but this is the biggest weight gain I’ve ever had. I’m currently 22 lbs. heavier than at the end of my pregnancy with Cole, when I had quite a lot of water retention. I don’t this time. I do, however, have polyhydramnios, as the dr. confirmed today. At 34 & 1/2 wks, my fundal height is measuring 42 cm!!! That’s a measurement of nearly 8 weeks ahead! YIKES! At least now I KNOW I have a valid reason for finding bending over, and carrying loads of laundry, and standing at the sink having to lean way over to do dishes, so tiring and sometimes painful. Dr. Kerr was kind enough to *try* to reassure me that several of those pounds were indeed amniotic fluid. Thanks, Doc. Anyhow, I thought I was good for a couple weeks, when I have an appointment with my obgyn. But my GP wants to see me again next week. Then weekly visits with the obgyn. Time’s ticking away!

It seems like a long way off yet, til the middle to end of May, but I have a fairly extensive to-do list to cross off, so that should keep me occupied. Besides the painting and organizing, my top priorities this week are choosing and purchasing a new car seat, and also getting supplies for my hospital bag, including a coming-home outfit for Baby. Oh yeah, and CHOOSING A NAME!!! It sure would be nice to know if we’re having a boy or a girl.

Any suggestions?

Brett is such a joy. And a trial. At age three he keeps me on my toes, as I’m sure most three-year-olds do. He has a dramatic flair. He definitely thinks he knows best.

So just a few minutes ago, I was on the phone, and I realized he and Cole are out in the truck, or going to the truck. In their new shoes. Their new indoor shoes.

So I told them of course, to come back in. I concentrate on my phone conversation, and when I look out again, Cole is back in the house, and Brett is nearly ankle-deep in a muddy puddle. I LOST IT!!!

So I quickly sign off - thanks, Dawn! - and go outside. Doing my best mother-in-control impression, I’m clenching my jaw, grabbing him by the arm, and give him a swat on the bottom as soon as we get in the door. I was so mad! And out of control! I need to get it under control. It’s humbling.

So I’ve ripped the shoes off his feet, he’s run downstairs crying, and I’m furiously wiping the shoes clean.

In a few minutes, we’re both calmed down, and I go downstairs, and explain to him why I got angry. I need to actually apologize as well. Anyway, now he’s insisting he needs new shoes. I said, “No, you just need to obey.” His reply.

“I don’t want to ‘bey. I don’t want to go the mud pud for my new shoes.”

What ever will I do?